Animal I Have Become
by ChaosAngel4us
Summary: Song-fic, one-shot, Ari's life is forever changed by one decision, one decision that haunts him for the rest of his life, however long it may be...


"Hey there." The whitecoat said smiling sweetly. I smiled back hesitantly. I'd lived here all my life, but I was still unsure of how to react around the people my daddy worked with.

"We want to say we're sorry your daddy left you." He said with compassion written all over his face.

"He didn't leave me." I stated. My daddy wouldn't ever leave me, would he?

"Yes he did. He ran off with all those bird kids because he doesn't care about you anymore."

I started crying. My daddy did leave me! He always did love the bird kids better, especially Max. Anger boiled inside me. How could he just leave me? I thought my daddy loved me...

"There, there." The whitecoat said shushing me. "We can help you. We can make you bigger and stronger. Then your daddy will be proud of you and love you again."

"Okay." I said whipping my eyes. I felt accomplishment rise in my chest. If I was bigger, better, stronger, maybe he would care about me again.

It didn't take too long to transform me into an eraser. There was only one problem; it was like I was trapped inside a huge bulky form unable to control my actions.

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside_

I watched in horror as I killed and murdered. I would tear apart helpless chimpanzees and murder experiments that wouldn't cooperate. I didn't want to, but a small part of me enjoyed it. It scared me. I couldn't do anything to stop myself either.

_  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

It feels like a nightmare. I want to wake up. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted to be stronger so my daddy would care about me too. I never wanted to be transformed into a monster, and that's what I was, a monster. I wasn't human anymore. I was more of an animal than I thought. 

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become

The whitecoats were impressed with me. I was stronger than the other erasers. I was a killing machine. Suddenly I no longer cared what others thought of me. Their praise didn't matter anymore. None of them knew how I felt. None of them would help me change either.

_  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal_

I once asked for them to change me back, or tried to. The animal part of me wouldn't let me. I wanted to be free of it, but no one could help me, ever.

I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside

I won't be able to escape the prison known as my body. I'm trapped and now there's nothing I can do.

"Ari!" My leader called. I came at once to await my instructions.

"The bird kids have been spotted." He told me. Anger and rage boiled inside me. "We need you and your team to retrieve the littlest one."

"Yes, sir." I answered. I closed my eyes and licked my lips. This would be fun.

_Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

It felt good pounding Max. She seemed so fragile and weak. I was so sure my dad would be proud of me now. When he called for me, I was expecting praise.

"How dare you!?" he yelled. I cringed. "You are never to harm Max again, you understand!?" I nodded my head vigorously. I understood. 

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become

Max II was the best friend I could ask for. After being brought back from the dead, I felt like I could make Max mine, the **real** Max. She could be my friend and no one would bother us and she'd love me. She'd help me and care about  
me too.

"Ari, are you feeling okay?" Max II asked shaking me a bit. I snapped out of my daze.

"Yeah. Let's capture Maximum Ride." I said as we snuck into the apartment. I bound her and carried her back with me to the ITEX branch while Max II stayed and took the real Max's place. I smiled. Max and would be friends in no time.

_  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

My expiration date had appeared on the back of my neck. I was scared. I didn't want to die yet.

I quietly eased my way into the flock's room. I strapped Max to a wheelchair ignoring her constant jabbing. I wasn't going to be a monster anymore. I wasn't an animal anymore.

"I'm just taking you on a tour of the facility." We walked and talked. When I told her about my expiration date and when I showed it to her, she was sympathetic. She actually cared.

"When we get out of here, I bringing you with us." She promised me.

Oh, I really hope so.

Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

"Ari!" Angel yelled. She was crying and I knelt down to her height.

"What's wrong?"

"T-total! I can't find him!" she wailed.

"I'll find him."

I searched all over until I found some whitecoats experimenting on the dog. I rushed in there and rescued the Scottie. I came back to see Angel and when Total and her were reunited, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself.

That didn't mean I wasn't still a monster, an animal.

Angel looked up at me with her gorgeous blue eyes.

"I don't think you're an animal." She said hugging me, "You're just a really great friend."

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

I pounded my fist against a flyboys face and it felt good to hear the crunching underneath my power. An enormous pain suddenly erupted inside me and I slid to the ground. I saw Max running towards me and pick me up. I said something, but I was unsure of what I said exactly.

I felt a tear hit my face as Max handed me to Jeb.

"A-a-are you proud o-of me, Daddy?" I asked in a whisper. He smiled at me.

"I always was."

With that, I let go. The pain disappeared and the last thing I heard was; "I love you, Ari, my son". I smiled as blackness engulfed my sight entirely.


End file.
